


I don't want to let go

by hitokayamaguchi



Category: DAYS (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Awkwardness, First Love, Firsts, Getting Together, M/M, Relationship(s), Sharing a Bed, Soccer, soccer camp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 07:49:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8004328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hitokayamaguchi/pseuds/hitokayamaguchi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emotions run high after a certain situation occurs. Kazama and Tsukushi don't know what to do. They're just friends...or could they be more?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I don't want to let go

“First night in to the training camp and Kazama-kun has already gotten himself in trouble,” Tsukushi panicked. Pacing back and forth across the room he shares with Kazama, Tsukushi couldn’t help but worry about the fate of his friend. Would he be penalized? Kicked off the team? Sent home? Forced to sit out tomorrow’s practice? These were thoughts that raced through his mind as he waited for confirmation of his worst fears.

When his legs were about to give out from exhaustion, he heard the door creak open. His eyes widened, looking both relieved and worried. He lunged himself at his roommate, screaming, “Well, what happened?! What did Coach say?! How much trouble are you in?! This is all my fault! I’m so sorry, Kazama-kun!”

Kazama wrapped his arm around Tsukushi’s shoulders, head down, looking disheveled and whispered, “I got kicked off the team. Coach told me to pack my things and I’m going home tomorrow.” Tsukushi’s worst fears had become reality. He started screaming apologies left and right, swearing he would go to the Coach and tell him that it was his fault that the altercation with the opposing player happened.

Kazama suddenly fell to the ground, tears falling from his eyes due to laughter. “I’m just messing with you, Tsukushi! He ripped me a new one but that’s all. I’m not going anywhere. You should’ve seen your face,” he exclaimed. Streams of tears started rolling down Tsukushi’s face as he fell to the ground. “I was so worried! I’m so glad you’re going to be here! It wouldn’t be the same without you! I love playing soccer with you! I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t here.” Kazama finally stopped laughing when he noticed Tsukushi was not laughing with him. He stood up and went over to his friend, kneeling down beside him and placed his hands on his shoulders. “Sorry, Tsukushi. I didn’t mean to worry you,” Kazama said calmly, reassuring him that he meant no harm.

Without realizing what he was doing, Kazama started wiping his teammate’s tears away, caressing his face while doing so. Tsukushi was too much of an emotional wreck to realize what was happening. He leaned into the soft touch on his face, finding comfort in the motions. They both sat there for a moment, completely lost in the sensations of each other. When they both came to the realization of what was happening, Kazama whipped his hand away in a swift motion, shocked. Stuttering and struggling to stand up, he muttered, “I-I’m going to go sh-shower n-now.”

Kazama ran into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. Tsukushi sat there in the floor, still in shock from the moment that he just had with Kazama. While it was different from a normal interaction, he wondered why it didn’t feel wrong.

"It freaked Kazama out," he thought, "but did he react like that because it felt wrong or because it…didn’t?"

The entire time his roommate was in the shower, he sat on his bed replaying the situation over and over…but that made him even more confused.

"We got caught up in the moment," he continued. "We forgot what was happening. Friends can wipe away each other’s tears. That’s a normal thing…so why didn’t it feel normal?" 

His head started pounding from the confusion but he knew he wanted to get to the bottom of why he felt that way. He wanted to ask Kazama what he thought about it, but he knew that might freak him out even more.

"Sayuri has wiped tears away before anytime I got hurt, especially when we were little. But it was never a feeling like that. I never thought that-" Tsukushi was nervous to finish that thought. 

He wasn’t sure what to think of it and he definitely wasn’t sure how to bring it up to anybody else. He contemplated for a moment, and continued… "I never thought that being touched by somebody else, even just on the cheek, could feel so wonderful, so comforting, so warm and gentle, so……right."

His eyes widened with the realization and whispered, “I like…Kazama-kun?” He sat there in awe for a moment, completely in shock of his own feelings. He couldn’t remember if he had ever felt this way about somebody, especially a guy. 

He sat on his bed, his knees tucked to his chest, embarrassed by his thoughts. "It felt…right…him touching me. It felt safe and warm and gentle. That's a feeling I want to have all the time," he reflected. "But wait, how did Kazama-kun feel? What were his thoughts on all of this?"

Tsukushi panicked over the possibility of unreciprocated feelings and panicked even more over the thought of Kazama being disgusted by the notion. The thought that he might never want to play soccer with Tsukushi again made him sick to his stomach.

He anxiously sat on his bed, waiting for his friend to get done with his shower. There were so many things he wanted to ask him and even though he knew it was risky asking him, he wanted to know his feelings. And he wanted to let his feelings be out in the open.

Kazama walked out of the bathroom, his golden hair still dripping from the shower, and headed for his bed. “Sorry… I’m-uh-not feeling too hot so I’m going to go to sleep now. G’night.” Tsukushi could tell his friend was still unnerved about what happened but if he didn’t ask now, he never would. Kazama might still avoid him later on and he didn’t want that to happen.

“B-b-before you go to sleep, I need to ask you something,” Tsukushi blurted.

Kazama, still standing by his bed, paused for a moment and then slowly turned to face him. He quietly muttered, “What is it you need to ask me?”

Tsukushi hesitated and then got the courage to say, “I want to know about what happened earlier!”

Kazama’s eyes widened, suddenly panicked “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I want to know about what happened earlier, Kazama-kun. Why did you suddenly panic earlier? What was that moment to you?”

“WELL, WHAT WAS THAT MOMENT TO YOU,” Kazama snapped. Realizing his harsh reaction, he fell back onto his bed, his head in his hands. Once he calmed down, he continued, “I panicked because…it felt good…touching you, that is.”

Tsukushi was shocked by this admission, but also relieved. “I liked it…being touched by you, Kazama-kun.” 

Both their faces red, they looked at each other with widened eyes. “What’re you saying, Tsukushi,” Kazama asked, trying to hide a smile.

“I’m saying,” he responded, “that I like you, Kazama-kun. I like you, like you.”

Kazama’s face turned an even brighter shade of red than before and, covering his face with his hand, finally whispered, “same goes for me, Tsukushi. I feel the same exact way.”

Silence filled the air for a moment. While they were both relieved to be past the awkwardness, they weren’t sure what to do next in this situation.

“So……would you like to go out with me,” Kazama questioned? With a glisten in his eyes, Tsukushi responded with a simple and quiet, “yes.”

Kazama’s face lit up, his smile stretching from ear to ear. Tsukushi grabbed his pillow, held it to his chest and buried his face in it. After a few moments, Kazama stood up and walked over to Tsukushi. He knelt down and slowly removed the pillow from his new boyfriend’s grasp. Nervously, he reached up and grabbed Tsukushi’s chin. He leaned in and planted a simple, but sweet kiss. Tsukushi was surprised by this, but reciprocated the kiss. He, then, dove forward, tackling Kazama in a hug. Falling to the floor, Kazama’s arms wrapped around him, holding his frail frame tightly. Tsukushi clung to his lover and wouldn’t let go. He’s so warm, he thought. He buried his face into his chest, finding security in the embrace.

“Tsukushi, you do know we can’t stay like this right? We’ll have to get up eventually, go to our beds and sleep.”

“I know, I just…. I don’t want to let go.” Kazama couldn’t handle the sweet admission made by his lover, so he buried his face into the other’s neck.

“Me neither.”

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kazama, nodding off to sleep, jerked awake and looked over at the clock. “It’s midnight,” he mumbled, “we’d better go to bed or we’ll definitely regret it tomorrow.”

“Tsukushi,” he whispered, sleepiness in his voice, “we need to go to bed. We’re going to be too exhausted tomorrow if we don’t get some sleep.”

He looked down at his sleeping boyfriend after receiving no response and just stared. He studied the face on his chest, the naturally rosy cheeks, the ruffled black hair that’s turned into a bit of a mess. He’d seen this face numerous times, crying, laughing, smiling…but he’d never gotten to look at him like this. The already innocent and adorable expression Tsukushi naturally wore, was even more so while asleep. He adored this boy; he knew the moment he first saw him at the entrance ceremony. Watching him, his tiny frame, pushing his mother in her wheelchair… it was an image that captivated Kazama. From that moment on, he knew, he was head over heels for this boy.

He began stroking Tsukushi’s back, tightening the embrace, and nuzzled his face into his partner’s messy black hair. He placed a quick, soft kiss onto the head resting on him. A slight groan came from Tsukushi, who was starting to wake up just a little.

“K-Kazama-kun…. what time is it?” Tsukushi rubbed his eyes and struggled to sit up.

“It’s a couple minutes after midnight,” Kazama replied. “We should probably go to bed so we’re not exhausted during practice tomorrow.”

Tsukushi sat up, his left hand resting on the other’s abdomen, rubbing his eyes with his right hand. Yawning, he responded, “yeah, that’s true.”

Kazama stood up and reached down for Tsukushi’s hands to help pull him up. Tsukushi placed his hands in the big, warm hands reaching out to him and attempted to stand up. He stumbled a bit and started to fall forward, only to land in his new boyfriend’s arms.

“You okay,” Kazama inquired, looking a little concerned.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine. Just not entirely awake.” He looked up at Kazama with a sleepy grin, his cheeks as rosy as ever.

"He’s so adorable," Kazama thought.

He grabbed hold on Tsukushi’s face and pulled him in for a kiss, one that was deeper than the first one they shared. The kiss lasted, what felt like, forever. Tsukushi wrapped his arms around Kazama’s waist and lost himself in the moment. The kiss was soft and warm, but was filled with so much more passion. Tsukushi could feel his entire face become flushed, his body started to warm up, the urge to continue…growing.

Kazama pulled away slowly, wrapping his lover in his arms. “I’m so happy to be able to do this, Tsukushi. You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted to.”

Taken aback by this confession, Tsukushi buried his face into the warmth holding him and simply replied, “…me too.”

“Seriously though, we really should go to bed,” Kazama chuckled. “I know I’ve said that a couple of times, but this time I mean it. We’ll regret it in the morning.”

They released from their embrace, slowly pulling away from each other. Kazama leaned down and kissed the top of Tsukushi’s head. They both climbed into their separate beds, turned the lights off and attempted sleep.

They both tossed and turned, struggling to fall asleep. Both yearned for the warmth of the other, but neither was willing to admit it. They had just admitted their feelings to each other, after all. Both knew that if they tried to lay together all night, the nerves would take over. Sleep would be a struggle, regardless of the situation.

Groaning came from the bed by the window, and a voice echoed in the darkness, “Tsukushi, I can’t sleep.”

“Neither can I,” Tsukushi quickly replied, excitement taking over all of his senses.

“Do you…uh…want to sleep with me?” Kazama paused for a moment, then blurted out, “NOT LIKE THAT. NOTHING DIRTY. JUST SLEEP. I PROMISE.” He was relieved at the darkness of the room; Tsukushi couldn't see how red his face was. He didn't know how to keep his cool with Tsukushi now. The 'cool guy' facade he always displayed, masked his feeling for his friend perfectly. But now that those feelings were out in the open? He couldn't keep his composure even if he wanted to. Everything was so embarrassing and awkward, but it made him happy nonetheless.

He heard a giggle come from the other bed, then a soft, “okay,” followed.

The sound of Tsukushi crawling out of his bed filled the silence in the dark room. He hustled over to Kazama’s bed and flung himself onto it. Not realizing where his boyfriend was laying, he landed on Kazama, knocking the air out of him.

“Ow! Tsukushi, what the hell?”

“I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to! Kazama-kun, are you okay?! Are you hurt?! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Tsukushi panicked for a moment, before Kazama wrapped his arms around him and pulled him onto him.

“I’m fine,” he whispered, “more shocked than anything. It’s okay; you didn’t hurt me. Just be careful, idiot.”

Tsukushi could hear in Kazama’s voice that he was smiling. That, alone, gave him comfort.

They both shifted their positions, rearranged the pillows and found themselves melting into one another. Kazama was propped up a bit, his left hand behind his head and his right holding the figure clinging to him. Tsukushi’s head was resting on Kazama’s chest, his legs entwining the other’s right leg. His right hand placed next to his face, resting on his boyfriend’s chest and his left wrapped around his body, meeting Kazama’s right hand. They held hands all night long as they slept, savoring the warmth of each other as best as they could. Not too many hours until they would be woken up for practice, so they needed to take in every moment of the night that they could.

“Goodnight, Kazama-kun,” Tsukushi whispered. After no response and hearing the start of Kazama’s snoring, he lifted his head and placed a kiss on his lover’s neck. The thought that this was the first of many times like this made Tsukushi both nervous and happy and a smile crept across his face as he drifted off to sleep.


End file.
